英语笑话大全简短

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经典英语笑话大全简短

每天一个，让你精神更抖擞。下面由的英语笑话，希望你开心。

The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?” 一家大百货店的老板在查帐中发现，他最信任的雇员从公司偷走了一百多万美元。“我不要丑闻。”老板说。“我只要开除你。”那个雇员答复说：“不错，我是偷了你公司相当一大笔钱。现在我有游艇、一座乡村别墅、珠宝，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了，你为什么要再雇个人来，让他从头做起呢?”

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

马修·普赖厄 可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入绝望; 频频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着忧伤。 “不同原因，”滑头


牧师说， “可产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死; 他老婆，怕他会活。”

Compare other things?比一下其他?

Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you pared other things?

Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you. 儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。 妈妈：你只关心这个吗?不会比一下其它东西? 儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说，我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你容许永远不要用两个词，一个是“讨厌的”，另一个是“极好的”。你能容许我吗? 噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词?

Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when

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