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And researchers say that like those literary romantics Romeo and Juliet, they may be blind to the consequences of their quests for an idealized mate who serves their every physical and emotional need.
Nearly 19 in 20 never-married respondents to a national survey agree that "when you marry you want your spouse to be your soul mate, first and foremost", according to the State of Our Unions: 2001 study released Wednesday by Rutgers University. David Popenoe, a Rutgers sociologist and one of the study's authors, said that view might spell doom for marriages.
"It really provides a very unrealistic view of what marriage really is," Popenoe said. "The standard becomes so high, it's not easy to bail out if you didn't find a soul mate."
The survey points to a fundamental dilemma in which younger people want more from the institution of marriage while they seemingly are unwilling to make the necessary commitments.
The survey also suggests that some respondents expect too much from a spouse, including the kind of emotional support rendered by same-sex friends. The authors of the study also suggest that the generation that was polled may more quickly leave a margin because of infidelity than past generations.
Popenoe said the poll, conducted by the Gallup organization, is the first of its kind to concentrate on people in their 20s. A total of 1,003 married and single young adults nationwide were interviewed by telephone between January and March. The margin of error was plus or minus four percentage points.
Respondents said they eventually want to get married, realize it's a lot of work and think there are too many divorces. They believe there is one right person for them out there somewhere and think their own marriages won't end in divorce. Since the poll is the first of its kind, researchers say it is impossible to say if expectations about marriage are changing or static.
But scholars say the search for soul mates has increased over the last
generation--and the last century--as marriage has become an institution centering on romance rather than utility.
"one hundred years ago, people married for financial reasons, for tying families together, they married for political reasons," said John DeLamater, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin. "And most people had children."
Those conditions are no longer the case for young adults like David Asher, a 24-year-old waiter in a Trenton cafe who has been in a relationship for about two years. He wants to wait to make sure he's ready to exchange vows.
"I know a lot of it has to do with financial reasons," he said. "Maybe if you're going to have children, marriage is the best bet."
But the main reason for matrimony: "If you're in love with someone, it's sort of like promising to them you are in love."
"That's all well and good," said Heather Helms-Erikson, an assistant professor of human development and family studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. "But passion--partly in endorphin- caused physiological phenomenon--has been known to diminish in time."
What's the best title of this passage?
A.Marriage Scholars Worry Search for "Soul Mates" is Unrealistic. B.People Should Seek for Romeo and Juliet. C.Marriage Should Happen between Soul Mates.
D.Search for "soul Mates" Should be Superseded by Reality.
研究人员说,像文化中的罗密欧和朱丽叶,他们可能无法看清他们的理想伴侣是他们的生理和心理需要的后果。近19的受访者20从未结过婚的一项全国性调查,认为“当你结婚时你希望你的另一半是你的灵魂伴侣,首先,根据我们的工会:2001星期三公布的研究由罗格斯大学。 戴维波普诺,罗格斯大学的社会学家研究的作者之一,表示可能毁灭婚姻。
“这确实提供了真正的婚姻是什么一个很不切实际的想法,”波普诺说。”标准越来越高,这是不容易的保释出来,如果你没有找到一个灵魂伴侣。”调查点的基本困境是,年轻人需要更多的婚姻制度,但是他们似乎不愿意作出必要的承诺。
调查还表明,一些受访者配偶要求太多,包括情感支持同性朋友提供的一种。该研究的作者还建议代被可能会更快的离开边缘因为不忠于过去的几代人。
波普诺说民意调查,由盖洛普组织进行的,是一种集中在二十几岁的人。总共1003个已婚和单身青年全国一月和三月间的电话采访。误差幅度为正负四个百分点。
受访者表示,他们终于要结婚了,意识到这是一个很多工作,觉得有太多的离婚。他们相信有一个对的人在某处,认为自己的婚姻不会以离婚告终。
由于调查是第一次,研究人员说,这是不可能的如果说期望婚姻是变化的还是静止的。
但学者说灵魂伴侣的搜索在过去的一代增加——和上个世纪——婚姻变得浪漫而不是实用的定心机构。 “一百年前,人们结婚是为了经济原因,维系家庭,也有政治原因,说:”约翰影响,在威斯康星大学的社会学家。”大多数人都有孩子。”
这些条件不再为年轻人喜欢戴维亚瑟,在特伦顿的一个咖啡馆,一个24岁的服务员已经在约两年的关系。他想等到确定他已经准备好交换誓言。
“我知道很多做金融的原因,“他说。”也许你会有孩子,婚姻是最好的选择。” 但主要原因的婚姻:“如果你爱一个人,就好像有人在爱你。”
“那好,”希瑟说埃里克森,助理教授人类发展和家庭研究在美国北卡罗来那大学。”但激情——部分的内啡肽引起的生理现象——已经被减少的时间。” 这篇文章最好的标题是什么?
A.婚姻学者担心搜索“灵魂伴侣”是不现实的。B.人应该寻求罗密欧与朱丽叶C.婚姻应该灵魂配偶之间发生D.寻找“灵魂伴侣”应取代现实。
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